Catch That Snitch!
by Marina Floyr
Summary: A parody tune to Chicago's 'All That Jazz'. Wood gets a bit too enthusiastic with his song & dance pep talk in the locker room.


Disclaimer- Jo Rowling owns Harry Potter, Quidditch, and pretty much everyone mentioned in the songfic. 'All That Jazz' is from the Broadway musical Chicago, Lyrics by Fred Ebb and Music by John Kander.   
  
A/N- Yes, I'm at it again. This is a product of too much forced family socializing. Dialogue towards the end matches the 1997 Broadway soundtrack version…not sure if it's the same way on the new movie soundtrack. But the song's the same. Enjoy.  
  
"Catch That Snitch"- To the tune of Chicago's 'All that Jazz'  
  
(A Saturday morning before daybreak during Prizoner of Azkaban. Gryffindor's team is assembled in the locker room for yet another strategy session. Only Wood is bright and alert…everyone else seems like they'd rather be in bed.)   
  
~Oliver Wood~ (sings)  
Come on team, We'll find a way to score-  
(He turns desperately to Harry)  
And catch that snitch!  
  
This year the Quidditch cup belongs to Gryffindor...And catch that Snitch!  
All depends on our seeker Harry  
A gold snitch is worth a hundred and fifty  
Hope he'll get through the match  
Without a single scratch   
And catch. That. Snitch!   
  
(A brief musical interlude, in which Oliver goes over several new plays and strategies.)  
  
Don your robes, and polish up your brooms   
(And catch that Snitch!)  
I hear that Marcus Flint's saying we'll meet our doom   
(And catch that Snitch!)  
Fred and George will let the bludgers fly  
They'll bring some Slytherins down out of the blue sky  
And if they cheat we'll howl  
"That was a bloody foul!"  
And catch. That. Snitch!   
  
(Another musical break in which Oliver makes wonderful presentation of this season's new diagrams. From somewhere off near Hagrid's cabin, a rooster crows)   
  
~Alicia~ (spoken anxiously as she glances at her watch)  
Listen, eh... breakfast isn't over yet, is it?  
  
~Fred & George~ (spoken)  
No, breakfast hasn't even stared yet-  
  
~Oliver Wood~ (singing)  
Start with Johnson, pass to Katie Bell...And catch that Snitch!   
  
~Fred & George~  
And catch that Snitch!  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
Then Spinnet makes the goal, and hear the whole crowd yell...And catch that Snitch!   
  
~Fred & George~  
And catch that Snitch!  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
I'm the Keeper, flying loop-de-loops  
So not a quaffle passes through our hallowed hoops  
And once we're up a few  
Then Potter that's your cue  
To Catch. That. Snitch.  
  
~Fred & George~  
Oh, we'll practice bright and early on the pitch  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
And catch that snitch!  
  
~Fred & George~  
Oh, we'll beat those surly buggers at Quidditch~  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
And catch that snitch!  
  
~Harry Potter~   
Can't give up like Moanin' Myrtle   
Aunt Petunia's blood'd curdle  
If she knew  
Her nephew's due  
To Catch. That. Snitch.  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
Oh, and if we lose we'll hang our heads in shame  
So catch that Snitch!  
Oh, they'll say the captain is the one to blame   
So catch that Snitch!  
While you sigh inside the towers  
I'll drown myself in the showers  
If we're creamed  
By Malfoy's dream  
  
~The Rest of the Team~  
(Sung simultaneously…but with most of the enthusiasm in Wood's verse, of course)  
Come on team, We'll find a way to score-  
Oh catch that snitch!  
This year the Quidditch cup belongs to Gryffindor  
Oh catch that Snitch!  
All depends on our seeker Harry  
A gold snitch is worth a hundred and fifty  
Hope he'll get through the match  
Without a single scratch   
  
~All~  
To Catch. That-  
  
(a sudden spoken interruption)  
  
~Angelina~   
So thats it, huh Wood?  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
Pretty much Angie  
  
~Angelina~  
Oh Wood?  
  
~Fred, George, Alicia & Katie (In sing-song voices)~  
Oh Wo-ood!  
  
~Angelina~   
Nobody wakes me up before the sun's up!   
  
(She bonks him on head with her Comet 260 handle. Wood looks dazed and anguished.)  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
Sweetheart-  
  
~Angelina~  
Oh, don't 'Sweetheart' me at this hour, you manic obsessive freak!  
  
(She storms out. The twins watch her with glowing, devious grins and exchange glances while Harry seems to be mentally repeating the mantra which has been so thoroughly laid before him in his head.)  
  
~George~   
Whoopie!  
  
~Fred~  
Hotcha!  
  
~Harry~   
....Snitch?  
  
~Katie~  
I gotta sleep!  
  
(All but Harry manage to shuffle out sleepily...Wood catches Potter by the shoulders and bursts into song once more)  
  
~Oliver Wood~  
So, they'll give me strife  
But, oh, this game's my life!  
So Caaaaatch...Thaaaaat...Sniiiiitch! 


End file.
